I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize