yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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