check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
