Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
