i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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