umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
