At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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