Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize