Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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