I need help removing her.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
