can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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