It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
