My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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