I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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