So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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