Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
