Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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