the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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