why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
