i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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