And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
