When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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