they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
