so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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