My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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