Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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