I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
