just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
