The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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