allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
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woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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