is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
