Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
