you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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