Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
