walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
