This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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