How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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