I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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