your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
