Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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