Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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