Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
