Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
