I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
