I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
