People in love make me want to vomit
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
