my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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