I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
where am i from again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
