Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
