you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
