i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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