Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can I color on your dick again?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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