I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
