Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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