At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
