Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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