worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize